How We Shut Down What We Want

One thing I’ve learned about myself in the last year or so is how much I shut down what I want.

Somehow the world taught me that what I want is not acceptable, that I should only want what seems reasonable, doable, or won’t inconvenience others.

So I rarely even acknowledge that I want something. I shut it down.

Here are just some of the reasons I tell myself I don’t want something:

  • It’s not possible, so I don’t really want it.
  • I don’t think I can achieve it, so focus on the doable.
  • Others might be able to do it, but I can’t.
  • I don’t have the discipline to stick to this, I can’t trust myself.
  • I don’t have the money for it, it would be irresponsible.
  • I don’t have time, I’m too busy.
  • I would feel guilty if I allowed myself to have this.
  • Other people would judge me if I gave this to myself.
  • The other person would reject me if I asked for it.
  • It’s too complicated.
  • It’s not worth all the effort.
  • I shouldn’t want this.

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Wanting something has become laden with judgment, fear, guilt, and self-doubt. And so we shut it down.

What if we could have whatever we wanted?

What could you own that you want, regardless of whether you could actually have it?

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